I only have 1 fat friend in my life.
We met back in 2009, when I had just arrived in Berlin, at a concert. I was sitting alone, waiting for the show to begin when she came and talked to me. We realized that we both were from Switzerland which was really random since I knew almost nobody at that point. After the concert, we exchanged our emails and maybe our Facebook profiles, we definitely connected via Last.fm too. She became my first Berlin friend, and even though she moved back to Switzerand a year later, I am lucky to say that she is still one of my favorite people in the world.
Before meeting her, I didn’t realize that I needed fat friends. I was the only fat person in my class, and almost all the groups I joined. And honestly, I was being quite judgmental towards other fat people. As much as I hated myself for being fat, I assumed that we were all guilty of having such bodies. Fatphobia was so internalized, that I wasn’t a defender of fat people, I agreed with our persecutors. So other fat people were not my allies, we were all part of the problem. Until my friend showed me the world as a proud fat queer woman, it revolutionized my life.
I started wearing clothes that I really wanted to wear, I embraced my sexuality and my body. I was finally at a point where being fat was not the most tragic thing that happened to me. It was liberating, I could join the party. Reading about fatphobia, fat liberation and other related topics helped me understand why I used to be anti-fat people even though I was fat myself. It wasn’t an individual problem, but a general societal case. My dream was to talk to other fat people, especially fat artists, who might be going through the same process.
Unfortunately, I haven’t met that many fat people in Berlin. I do not consider myself as an activist, but I definitely want to hold a space for us, fat queer artists, to gather and create a community. I am curious, I want to know what they are experiencing, how they see the world, if they feel the same things and of course share tips.
By being present in the world, especially the art world, I hope that we will inspire others to be themselves!